Blown Away

Love comes unseen;

we only see it go.

Austin Dobson

We are all multi-sided individuals, creating different sides to one personality.  There are masks to give the appearance of what we are not or to hide what we are.  It is rare that we show all sides of ourselves to one person.

I was thinking of my children and how they would describe me or remember me when I have passed.  They knew me very well as a mother and a grandmother, but what about the other parts of me?

There are those from my career that knew what high standards I held for myself and what ethics I maintained for all people.  Privately, however, they really knew very little about me.

Sisters of my heart, my very dearest of friends, know me very deeply.  They have been present during my anger, pain, and joy.  They have witnessed my unfolding with encouragement and support.  And yet, there is much they do not know.

My daughter, perhaps, knows me best of all having been so constant and loving in my life over the years.  She has seen many sides of me and embraced me when times were very difficult.  The truth remains, she has never walked around in my mind where unexplainable knowledge resides.

As I grow older, I have integrated my private self with my public self by being less public and more out spoken in private.  There is less motivation to be 'known' as I do feel understood, accepted and loved.

There is so much left inside of me however, I feel all of this seeking and recording will have been in vain.  Like leaves falling from the branches of the trees, my most inner thoughts will be blown away by the wind.