Adorn Yourself Accordingly ...

Know first who you are,

and then adorn yourself

accordingly.

Epictetus

Stoic, AD 55

A few years ago, I was gathered with some women exploring our spiritual beliefs and personal truths.  The conversation wandered into a discussion about  the image we project onto others.  Unexpectedly, a very dear friend pointed at me and exclaimed, "Well, look at you.  You are all decorated like a tree!"   I was so caught off guard, I quickly withdrew into myself and allowed the conversation to move forward by saying, "Why thank you!" I felt embarrassed, defensive, and hurt. 

I tried very hard not to feel that this was a personal attack, but more of an observation regarding the diversity of women.  I believe that it was pointing out the differences between good friends. Later, in the safety of my home, I reviewed this bothersome remark.

When I no longer felt defensive, I began to explore the evolution of my dress code which ran parallel to the unfolding of my spiritual life.  All of the changes that occured on the inside of me, were eventually reflected on the outside.

As a little girl, I was dressed in feminine attire until I morphed into a 'tom boy'.  Entering a private college prep academy, I quickly realized I was totally out of my league in fashion.  When I left for college, I packed one pair of black flats and one pair of navy blue heels.  Fortunately, my college roommate and I were able to swap clothes frequently.  My interest in clothes accompanied my marriage, but was quickly replaced with pregnancies and booties. 

After having my three boys, I was gifted with a daughter on Mother's Day.  Into my life came patent leather shoes, little gloves, smocked dresses and matching bonnets.  There was enormous pleasure in dressing this beautiful child.

Once I returned to a professional career, years later, my respect for myself began to flourish.  I was not fanciful, but tailored clothes were a must.  It was during these later years that my spiritual self joined forces with my physical self producing a confidence that was reflected in some flair.

As my daughter entered a professional career, she too fashioned a style of her own, and repeatedly assisted in discovering designs suited for myself.  I had a multitude of shoes, suits and a casual wear.  I developed a very good sense of color scheme accented by unique jewelry.  I liked who I was and thoroughly enjoyed dressing in what reflected how I felt.

Self-discovery brought me to compassion and acceptance of myself.  Nurturing myself comforted my wounded child and love became possible.  In celebration, I adorned my body accordingly. 

Each of us will choose what feels comfortable on us.  Our apparel may change from hour to hour or day to day.   We may have a set uniform that we can live in repeatedly and indefinitely.  It does not matter, but realize there is choice for all of us.

Celebrate yourself! Be festive in your own way!  Use music, dance, and poetry to herald the unfolding of your beautiful self.  And if someone says you are lit up like a tree ... know your internal light and the loving kindness of your heart is shining through for all to see!