One Pumpkin

I would rather sit on one pumpkin,

and have it all to myself,

than be crowded

on a velvet cushion.

Henry David Thoreau

The oxymoron that best describes me is 'an extroverted hermit'.  I love people, learning and experiencing with them, but I equally crave time alone. 

Once, I would have described my personal hermit time as a withdrawal into a cave.  What was I thinking ... dark, damp, bats!  My hermit time is now spent in the rich imagination of my mind.  I dwell in beauty and sensations; knowledge and vision; and nurturing and healing. 

The expansion of my spirit within brings light into the darkest corners embracing all parts of myself.  I cherish all that I have become and glory in being just one speck of the entire universe and all that compiles the Holy. 

There will be no velvet cushion for me, as I am content to sit in a pumpkin patch in the midst of nature with all of its forms.  In this connection, I find myself believing all things are possible for both you and me.

Nothing More

When we know love matters

more than anything

and we know that

nothing else really matters,

we move into a state of surrender.

Surrender does not diminish our power;

it enhances it.

Sara Paddison

At least 6 inches of snow awaited my arrival at the Denver, Colorado airport.  The temperature was 26, but it fell to a mere 17 degrees during the night.

For a week, I am settled into the welcoming home of my college roommate Joyce Marie.  She has recently had a bone marrow transplant and has been released to her home, but cannot be alone.  I am one of many of her friends that are participating in weekly shifts to be gratefully in her presence.

Joyce has been my friend, my sister of the heart since meeting just prior to college enrollment.  We could not be any more different from each other, but we are some how tied by heart strings. 

Today is a beautiful fall day.  Joyce's home has pumpkin decor all over it and she anxiously awaits Halloween, one of her favorite days.  I watch anticipation joyfully pass across her beautiful face anticipating trick or treat participants.   I of course will be the official greeter wearing my witches hat.

Joyce is living in the moment.  She remains present and fully involved in what stands before her.  She has surrendered to life cushioned by love.  She marvels at the colored leaves, breathes in breaths that she wasn't sure she would have, and celebrates the gifts of life that remain with her.  Her positive outlook on life and her ability to embrace whatever is coming before her, totally fills my spirit. 

Life can be as simple as we make it or as complicated as we choose.  Today, in the warmth of the sun my heart is filled with love.  All of fall embraces me ... dancing colorful leaves nudged along by a gentle breeze, snow dabbled on top of the distant mountain tops, and pumpkins decorating neighbors porches and front yards.  It is as though Joyce and I are huddled together in a pumpkin patch, pulling in the rays of sunshine, settled on top of mother earth, and just being...without want or expectation.  Nothing more.

Love is all that matters ... then peace and calm follows.

Be A Good One

Whatever you are,

be a good one.

Abraham Lincoln

In the fall, the uniqueness of all things is highly present.  There are not two pumpkins alike nor are there two gourds exactly the same.  Leaves are uniquely beautiful just as the shapes of branches in the trees.

We are all different.  There is no room for competition between us.  You are busy being you and I am endeavoring to be me.  We must offer each other encouragement and compassion.  Let us be joyful in the uniqueness that allows us to be together side by side with loving kindness.

The Timing of the Fall ...

An apple falls from the tree when it is ripe;

there is no way it can continue to stay on the branch. In the same way, there is no way your blessings can be separated from you if you affirm in your gut, "Yes, I accept." 

A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE

Alan Cohen

Divine Spirit continuously offers opportunities, blessings, and gifts, but we are some times so busy creating struggles in life that we miss the outreaching of all that is Holy.  Our ego gets in the way; our agendas do not allow time to just sit in the presence of Spirit; we are not awake to the magic in life that surrounds us.

Life can turn to bliss when we allow the Divine to be our day planner.  When is the last time you welcomed the Divine Spirit into your life?  Extend an invitation and be aware of the glowing reciprocation!

Honor The Change ...

A man never stands as tall

as when he kneels

to help a child.

Knights of Pythagoras

Watching little children, determination and resilience are very prevalent.  They toddle a few steps before they fall down, or they swiftly run until they tumble and fall. Each time they push themselves up and begin again. 

We, as adults, do not seem to bounce back up quite as quickly as children. Our falls can be more intensively challenging.  We get knocked down.  We get up.  We get knocked down again, but we some how find the strength to stand once again.

Children frequently accept the extended hand of an adult to guide and help them carry on, but sometimes refuse it all together responding with, "Me do it!"  Their sense of ego can be huge and strong willed.

In adulthood, we are sometimes too embarrassed to accept a helping hand.  Our ego may prohibit us from seeing the benefits of falling and starting again.  We may have a tendency to hide our 'falls from grace' from those we love and from those who oppose us.

It is during these many falls while we move up and down that our character is formed.  We learn through the many lessons that create a strength to keep moving on. 

The importance, perhaps, is not to focus on the fall or on the climb out of the ashes, but to be mindful of how the experience changed you.  Honor and celebrate that change!

Behind the Wheel ...

I will not allow myself to be

less than

I am

to meet anyone's expectations!

terri st cloud

bonesigharts.com

In dream time, a vehicle represents your 'self'.  It is important to know who is sitting behind the wheel.  If in a dream, you are in your car, but sitting in the back seat, the passenger seat or any other place other than the driver's seat, there is something wrong.  You need to ask your self, "Who is steering my life?" 

I once had a dream that I was in the trunk of my car and I could see my car was filled with people.  I remember shouting to them that I had 'hoped' to get up front one time soon.  Not good at all!

Alan Cohen writes:  "Behind the smiles, charm, and bravado of many famous and admired people, there lies emptiness and pain.  It is only when there is a tragedy such as a suicide, a violent crime, or a painful divorce that their inner life becomes obvious to the world."

If your dreams indicate that your vehicle is sliding across ice, or traveling at high speeds out of control, you are most definitely smiling on the outside and in despair within.  Share this 'double life' with a trusted friend or seek professional help. 

We all deserve to be sitting behind our own steering wheel enjoying beautiful scenery on balanced tires.  It is imperative that we feel safe in our own lives and must strive to bring our inner life into alignment with our outer life. 

You are a spiritual being with unique gifts and talents that contribute to our world.  Do not allow anyone to make you feel small or to minimize the importance of your existence.  Love your self entirely becoming a light for others. 

A Mindful Walk Through Autumn

Journaling the Labyrinth:

A mindful walk through Autumn

On October 15, 2011, a special event was held at Penuel Ridge Retreat Center in Tennessee.  Sarah Cherry, MMQ, Veriditas-Trained Labyrinth Facilitator and Ellen Rust, Certified Poetry Therapist/Writing Group Facilitator conducted a wonderful day of nurturing, through meditations, journaling and enjoying the natural environment.  The beautiful 11-circuit Chatres Labyrinth, a sacred path,  and guided journaling experiences led to inspirational discoveries.


Southern Fesitval of Books

Humanities
Tennessee ... examining narratives, traditions, beliefs and ideas that define us as individuals and as participants in community life ...

 

The Southern Festival of Books held their annual event for the 23rd year.  The gathering was held from October 14-16, 2011, on the Legislative Plaza and Tennessee Capitol Building.  It was a celebration of the written word.

Presented by HUMANITIES TENNESSEE, the Southern Book Festival spread across the War Memorial Plaza, filled with vendors, refreshments, entertainment and gorgeous weather.  Hourly presentations by various authors were offered every day. 

In addition to incredibly informative associations, the Nashville Chapter of Women's National Book Association (Connecting the Book Community since 1955) was present.  Membership and meetings can be explored on the website:  

www.wnbanashville.org/join.html

The Nashville Writers Meetup Group was also present inviting professionals and hobbyists to attend meetings to learn whether you are a beginner or veteran.  Their website is:  www.meetup.com/nashvillewriters

I am very eager to explore the many opportunities that were present to the community at this wonderful grouping of writers.  I so wished my Writers Forum in Illinois would have been able to attend with me to just wander through all of the books, authors and presentations while enjoying the live musicians and various foods!

Books That Go On Living

There are books so alive that you're always afraid that while you weren't reading, the book has gone and changed, has shifted like a river; while you went on living, it went on living too, and like a river moved on and moved away.  No one has stepped twice into the same river.  But did anyone ever step twice into the same book?   Marina Tsvetaeva



There are so many books and authors that I admire, respect, and learn from that it is impossible to mention them all with appropriate credit.  There are two books of fiction, however, that have been my favorite for many years.  One book reflects the journey of female discovery and the other explores the strength found in female friendships.

THE PULL OF THE MOON by Elizabeth Berg was published in 1996.  I have read all of her books as she does a great job of engaging you with her characters.  In this particular book of fiction, she beckons you into a life of a woman turning 50 years old without a particularly enchanted outlook on aging in our culture.  The main character purchases a journal and sets off on an uncharted trip.  Through wandering and journaling, she comes to find her true self.  It is a very easy but heartfelt read.  I haven't read it in years, yet remember it quite fondly as one of my favorites.

THE ELEGANT GATHERING OF WHITE SNOWS by Kris Radish was published in 2002.  It is a wonderful piece of fiction reflecting the depths and rewards of female friendship.  It is a story of 8 women in rural Wisconsin who set off on a journey of the heart. It will always be one of my favorites.

Books can be a great adventure.  Insights can appear through the words of characters that will forever change your life.  Visit your library, find a good read, and settle into your favorite chair.  Getting lost in a book gives your body, mind, and spirit a rest!

Repeatable War

Look at every path closely and deliberately.

Try it as many times as you think necessary.

Then ask yourself, and yourself alone ...

Does this path have a heart?  If it does,

the path is good.  If it doesn't, it is of no use.

Carlos Castaneda

This morning I was reading Mark Nepo's THE BOOK OF AWAKENING and he was discussing Reflex or Response.  It helped the readers explore whether or not we act out from patterns learned to protect ourselves or reply authentically from our heart.  To know the answer, we can monitor what we say and do.  We decidedly pay attention to how we react ... with deep consideration or immediate reaction.  We must create a pause just prior to our verbal and physical reactions to discover the truth of our actions.

"But sooner or later, we all arrive at moments where the very thing that has saved us is killing us, keeping us from truly living.  Being invisible once kept us from being hurt, but now we are vanishing.  Or listening once kept us in relation, but now we are drowning in our unheard cries.  Or avoiding conflict once kept us out of the line of fire, but now we are thirsting for contact that is real."  THE BOOK OF AWAKENING by Mark Nepo

Throughout life we transition in and out of cycles.  This is why life is frequently symbolized with a spiral.  We keep circulating around and around, and up and down, repeating lessons and learning new.  Sometimes the questions remain the same and we find ourselves wondering if we respond with different answers in the midst of changing circles or if we automatically react with thoughtless responses.

In childhood, it is obvious to our parents when our clothes no longer fit physically.  School guidance counselors help us to determine which classes best prepare us mentally for our career path.  Unfortunately, we are on our own in discerning when our protective barriers need to be emotionally adjusted, lowered, or permanently removed.  Friends, seminars, careers, and life experiences open our eyes to change, but only our heart knows the authenticity of our reaction and ability to stand appropriately vulnerable in our world. 

Mark Nepo states:  "We are, each of us, in a repeatable war between defending ourselves from hurts that happened long ago and opening in innocence, again and again, to the unexpected touch of life."

This sounds like such a huge risk for us to take, but if we are not willing to step out from behind our protective wall, we miss wonderful landscapes that could offer the opportunity to enrichen our lives and souls.

Be A Light

Too often we underestimate the power

of a touch, a smile, a kind word,

a listening ear, and honest compliment,

or the smallest act of caring,

all of which have the potential

to turn a life around.

Leo F. Buscaglia

The world keeps getting smaller and smaller.  Our children are taking mission trips to countries we never studied in grade school geography.  Our society is so mobile that by life's end, we may have traveled to many states or countries whereas our parents may have never left their county.   As the world grows smaller, people become more aware of diversity, but also catch glimpses of the human kindness residing in us all.  As we begin to extend a small act of caring to each other, all of our lives are impacted.

If life is full, having creative expression and spiritual connection, harmony and bliss radiates.  If life is not full, lacking in meaning and purpose, unhealthy behaviors prevail.  An individual filled with rage can impact the lives of many.  We each need to be aware of the well being of each other.  Our small act of kindness does make a difference in our communities.

Each one of us needs to be mindful of others.  Perhaps by staying connected to Divine Spirit, we will feel strong enough to keep vigil for those who have lost their way...for those who are in such darkness they cannot see the light.  If we can be a light for ourselves as well as for one other, we lift our community. 

Allowing our selves to feel Spirit throughout our day, we grow less stressful and more open to our true nature.  When we have peace within us, when our self-esteem is uplifted, we can experience our selves just as we were created.  Self-acceptance leads us to acceptance of others.  In turn, others are drawn to our gentle energy and feel safe to be authentic as well.

Let's be an individual flame, and when grouped together with others, we will become a collective glow that can light up the world!

Hearts Get Tangled

Sometimes our hearts get tangled

and our souls

a little off-kilter ...

Sera Christann

Whether emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually, balance is vital as we walk through our lives.  There are many ways to maintain harmony, but all of them require commitment and discipline.  In our busy world, it is very easy to stray from the fine line of equilibrium and abruptly find ourselves off-kilter.

Tai Chi or Qi Qong are gentle ways to balance the body, mind and spirit, as well as yoga.  Some find harmony through music or dance while others may use meditation or contemplation.  For me, other than energy work, I like to walk outside to hear the birds and see the trees or settle inside with an inspiring book.  All of these activities can be a form of prayer connecting us with Spirit and producing a sense of balance.

Ultimately, any form of communion with God slows us down and opens our hearts.  We feel drawn in, connected with all of life and our knots are gently untangled.  In these pauses when all of life is balanced, our spirits are rekindled awakening us to all of the beauty in our world.

Complaint Department

"who will take the blame?" she asked.

"nobody," he answered,

"it is too much to carry.

leave it behind and

let the wind take it.

we have places to go."

                                                         BLAME

terri st cloud

Bone Sigh Arts

 When we got in trouble as children, we learned to point the finger at someone else to take the pressure off of ourselves.  If we could successfully blame another person for our own actions, the sense of relief was so great, it temporarily overcame any feelings of guilt.

It doesn't matter how old you are, we are all tempted to blame.  It appears to be the easy way out, but in the long run, it can generate more damage than when it first began.  We have grown so comfortable with blaming others, complaint departments can be found most anywhere.  Perhaps if we complain loud and long enough, we can distract ourselves and others from honest and truthful solutions.

In most conflicts, there are at least two people.  Each person plays a particular part in the disagreement.  One person may be 97% responsible for the discord, but the individual with the 3% responsibility must me held accountable as well. 

If the only person we can truly change is our self, we must look within for resolution.  We must decide what part we play, no matter how great or how small.  We must own our behaviors and learn from the consequences.  Even if we are the 3% participant, we must correct our part in the drama or else we will repeat it again.

What part did I play?

What was my intention?

When did I begin to ignore the default?

Where could I have done things differently?

Complaining serves no purpose, but to drive each other farther a part.  Yes, we each have voice and we must use it, but it is to be used in a healthier, more positive way. 

Shame, blame, complain are all components in a game of deceiving ourselves as well as others.  Forgiveness, compassion, and healing all lead to higher ground.

Concerts in the Courtyard

Sara Sant'Ambrogio

2011 Concerts in the Courtyard

Nashville Public Library Foundation

Sara Sant'Ambrogio is an American cellist best know as a

member of the Eroica Trio.  Her interest in the cello began when she was 6 years old and studied with her father John Sant'Ambrogio, principal cellist with the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra.  She was invited to study at Juilliard at the age of 16 where she won the Juilliard Schumann Concerto competition.  In Moscow, she won the bronze medal at the 1986 International Tchaikovsky Violoncello Competition which began her career.  She won a Grammy Award for Best Chamber Music Performance for Bernstein Arias and Barcarolles on Koch Records. 

On October 11, 2011, I was fortunate to be in attendance
of this Grammy-winning Classical Cellist.  She readily engaged the audience and displayed dramatic passion for her work.  In between musical pieces, she shared interesting stories about the composers that were not the regular run of the mill historical accounts.  Newly married, she now resides in Nashville, TN. 

The Nashville Public Library Foundation is ranked 4th in the United States.  The Concerts in the Courtyard this year included:  The Three Tenors of Take 6 (Vocal, Jazz, Gospel); Annie Sellick and The Hot Club of Nashville (Nashville Gypsy Swing); Maura O'Connell (Irish Vocalist); Serenatta (Romantic Latin Ensemble);  Riders in the Sky (America's Favorite Cowboys);  Bearfoot (Telluride Bluegrass Band Champions);  The WannaBeatles (Beatles Music at its best); Jason D. Williams (High Energy Rockin' Piano Americana Rockabilly); and Sara Sant'Ambrogio (Grammy Winning Classical Cellist.

Music is what feelings sound like. 

~Author Unknown

The People You Need ...

God doesn't give you the  people you want, He gives you the people you NEED,...  

To help you, to  hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were  meant to be.   

 

This saying was at the conclusion of an e-mail I received this morning from a dear friend in Florida.  It triggered many feelings inside of me.  When I receive such a strong emotional reaction to something, I know I have emotional work that needs to addressed.

Currently, Spirit is generously leading new  people into my life to help me settle into this new transition of mine.  I am learning about southern traditions, sayings, and food choices.  New interests are being brought forward for my consideration and although the newness can be intimidating, I welcome the evolving movement.

Forgiveness for people who hurt me is not difficult.  In hurtful situations, a friend has been a teacher offering me an opportunity to evolve and strengthen my belief system.  I can wrap my mind around the concept of being thankful to someone who has been my teacher, but I struggle with the residue of personal pain remaining in my heart.

Tears escape me as I think of special people who leave.  Relationships are my most valuable experiences and I treasure the unique gifts and talents of each person.  People become pieces of my life puzzle and when they leave, there is a gaping hole where they had once been.  I gently fill each empty space with memories, knowing that in some magical way we will all be together again.

Then I think of people who love me in spite of my changing self.  The friends who stand by me, and remain present in my life no matter where I am.  My family who unconditionally loves and accepts me, helps me to heal the tender wounded places that await healing in my heart.

When all is said and done, I want to face the great Divine with a thankful heart for all of the people who were brought into my life.   I want to be filled with gratitude for all that I have become. 

 

Let Go Of Leaves

A wind has blown the rain away

and blown the sky away

and all of the leaves away,

and the trees stand.

I think, I too, have known

the autumn too long.

e. e. cummings

Fall is my most favorite time of the year for a variety of reasons.  I love apples, pumpkins, cooler weather and all of the beautiful leaves.  I feel most at home in the fall and more alive.  There is a vitality and joy that seems to keep my fears at bay.  My energy seems to be able to stay in the flow where I feel calm and safe.

There are times, however, where the wind is so strong, it takes away some leaves that I am not yet ready to release.  The gust rattles my branches and shakes some of the still attached leaves free.  At this time, I do not yet feel prepared to stand leaf-less or naked in the dull gloom of the forthcoming winter hues. 

It is impossible to maintain a constant presence in the flow of nature or spirituality.  We, as human beings, seem unable to consistently remain in clarity.  One minute we have an experience in lofty space and time, but then we find ourselves disconnected again.  There are lapses in our enlightenment, but determination moves us back through the holy stream with curiosity, love and desire.

As I watch the leaves gracefully fall to the ground, I wonder about the long cold winter of hibernation.  Hopefully my stored thoughts will keep me pondering until the arrival of spring.  I will be anxious to see my new sprouts and what life will once again bring.

All That Surrounds Us

Feminine magic of camouflage

shapeshifting

and

invisibility

SYMBOLISM OF FOX

by Ted Andrews

A few days ago, I was in a friend's car and we were taking a short-cut through a residential neighborhood.  I happened to glance out the passenger window and my eyes discovered a young red fox standing in a driveway. It is my belief that when an animal appears in your life, there is symbolism behind the appearance that can directly apply to your personal life. 

As soon as I returned home, I took out my trusted book resource, ANIMALS SPEAK by Ted Andrews and read the definition and characteristics of the fox. The fox is a totem that speaks of the need to develop or the awakening of camouflage, invisiblity, and shapeshifting.  

In a broader sense, the Fox represents "a new world opening up, that the process of creation is beginning.  It reflects that the world is growing and shapeshifting itself into new patterns that will be beneficial."

This dictionary of animal totems states, "Practicing and using camouflage is something everyone should learn to do.  Working to blend in with surroundings, to come and go unnoticed, moving silently about without revealing your intentions is all part of what a fox teaches."

The information suggests adjusting your frequency and intensity of your energy field so that you harmonize and blend in better with others.  The intention is to hear and see things that you otherwise might not. 

A fox has great ability to move into other dimensions in the outer world ... in water or up trees ...  and embodies feline energies for greater movement and expression.  It indicates "a need to assert the feminine, creative energies."

Credited with acute hearing abilities, the fox reflects a deeper ability to hear a great distances.  Symbolically, this depth of hearing reflects an ability to hear what is not being said or whispered. "This ability is also tied to clairaudience, the ability to hear spirit."  The keen sense of smell determines who or what needs to be sought out. It may be associated with higher forms of discrimination and discernment.

The fox has a love for home and only takes one partner.  The cubs, not having vision or hearing when born reflects to humans who may have had great tests in childhood with the instinctual abilities in the art of survival. 

A fox will go out of its way to avoid potential danger.  It is very patient and uses non-threatening techniques to capture its prey.

So in summary and in application to myself, I have learned to pay attention to the world as it is changing around me.  It would be beneficial for me to adjust my energy and blend more amongst others, observing, listening, and seeing what normally might not come into my awareness.  There might be a need for me to use my creative energies in a more assertive and positive way. 

Human beings, animals, and all of nature has its own language. We can live more fully in our world if we can learn to dialogue with all that surrounds us. 

The Small Voice of Conscience

The human voice can never reach

the distance that is covered

by the still small voice

of conscience.

Mohandas Gandhi

Looking back over my life, I am amazed at how many years I have spent searching and yearning for the knowledge that would turn me into perfection.  There is no such thing as perfection unless you are using it as part of a descriptive phrase or goal.   And yet I believe that God/Spirit/Universe/Divine created each one of us in a perfect individualistic way. 

My childhood faith taught me that I was imperfect in the eyes of God and born a sinner.  As a young adult, religion explained that I was some how broken in need of holy repair.  Atonement was heavily suggested during adulthood, but only with the assistance of an emissary.

In the last few decades, I have grown to understand that Divine embraces me just as I am.  Not that I don't have work to do or not that there isn't room for improvement, but there is no need for unsolicited critical judgment to break my spirit.  Through communication with all that I hold to be Holy, the small voice of conscience guides my way. 

Focusing on the things that are in alignment with Spirit keeps me feeling good about myself.  Daily affirmations reinforce my positive qualities and inspirational readings support my beliefs.  By being active and aware of my surroundings, I grow more appreciative of the goodness of others.  At day's end, my heart is filled with gratitude and thanksgiving.

Life supports us when we maintain a healthy support system.  Life gives back to us as we reach out to others.  Life expands when we do not see limitations.  Life encourages us to be a partner.  We are called to participate in our own life and not wait for someone else to define it. 

It took years before I could finally believe in the goodness that I discovered within me.  I like who I have become.  Yes, I let fear emerge when someone else challenges my worth, but ultimately

Divine Presence nudges me back into place. To let go of old patterns and behaviors, the small voice of conscience can more easily be heard.

Holding Our Own Hand ...

I finally understand that when

Tess fingers her scar, it's not

because she's scared, but because

she wants to remind herself that

she has what it takes to survive.

NO GOOD DEEDS

Laura Lippman

Thriving is much better than barely surviving, just as laughter is more pleasant than tears; but all are important ingredients in the making of a life.  While living, we are faced with many polarities that are in need of becoming balanced. 

Challenges present themselves to us, not to defeat us, but rather to give us an opportunity to stretch and grow.  Through the process of transition, we are made aware of how resilient we can really be.  As finances, friendships, material securities or health issues come into question, we have the choice to embolden our spiritual belief systems, gather resources, and creatively embrace all of the positive that just may erupt out of the change.  Visualize and hold in your mind the very best outcome possible!

Seek out the help of family or dear friends to explore resources.  Reach out to community activities, as isolation harms a saddened heart.  If we try to reframe our challenge into an adventure that will enhance your life in a different way, fear and anxiety can be greatly reduced.

Even though we may be surrounded by loved ones, our hearts still beat alone.  We can listen to guidance, advice, and opinions, but the final decision will be ours alone.  Whatever direction is taken, primarily, we will be alone.

And is this not the lesson ... to blossom and flourish on our own ... to gather our wits about us and let empowerment carry us forward ... to believe in our gifts and talents ... and stand singularly on our own? 

We must appreciate our unique beauty and depend upon our inner spirit, so when we are faced with a life challenge, we will find comfort in holding our own hand.

Pen to Paper

The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium.. 

~Norbet Platt


When I was studying psychology, my professor was very clear that there were no such things as bad feelings.  He emphasized that the attached or follow up behavior from our feelings is what could be defined as good or bad.  These statements always led to discussions on exploring our feelings to learn the truth of our whole being.  Our written assignments always led to valuable self-discovery.

OPENING UP, The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions, by James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D. is an engaging book on  "how putting emotionally upsetting experiences into words can affect your thoughts, feelings, and physical health."  In addition to therapeutic sessions, using a journal can assist and deepen the journey to self-discovery and acceptance.

Years ago, while listening to the stories of senior women, I quickly realized that any kind of trauma or emotional experience was rarely discussed.  They were not eager to report incidences as they falsely assumed personal shame and guilt instead of placing responsibility on the person inflicting the action.  The word 'sex' was never spoken out loud in the home, and any subject on feelings was never discussed, so these women carried the burden of their experiences without any healthy outlet.

In our current life styles, we have access to a variety of people whom we may deem trustworthy, such as:  best friend, relative, therapist, doctor, minister, or mentor.  Even so, there are many individuals wandering through their lives as wounded children.  They have repressed their experiences, ignoring them through over working, excessive sports or drinking, or other inappropriate behavior.  These negative behaviors impact our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of healthy living.

Dr. James W. Pennebaker has researched the end results of writing for well being.  He suggests that "writing clears the mind, helps resolve trauma, helps in acquiring and remembering new information and fosters problem solving." 

Some people have the impression that we need to let 'sleeping dogs lie' but research is showing the correlation between our mind, body and spirit.  When our thoughts are being repressed, they are a distraction or a mental block to clear thinking.   If we 'stuff our feelings' our bodies begin to be impacted producing poor health and medical issues.  Lastly, we can become depressed, breaking our authentic spiritual self, losing our connectedness with others.  In each of these stages, writing can be used as a successful coping technique.  It is affordable, easily accessible, and confidential.

There is great reward in having a trusted individual in our life to listen as we voice our words as our stories need to be told.  Listeners can offer support, encouragement, and guidance.  It is important to have those who can stand present in our life.  There are also times, however, when we cannot yet speak our truth out loud.  It is during these episodes that writing can be invaluable.

Keeping a journal is not just for trauma or negative experiences.  Writing can help keep a balance in our daily life.  It can help organize our emotional make up.  Recordings can reflect gratitude and a thankful heart that will be encouraging and supportive when re-read later when life is not running quite so smoothly. Jotting down favorite prayers can be uplifting at a later time when rediscovered.  Writing can be considered a vital tool in maintaining a healthy mind, body, and spirit. 

Journals are all different and writers are unique as well.  It doesn't matter if we write daily or only when we are struggling.  The importance is having an arena to express unfiltered thoughts and words that can lead to insights and discovery. 

Planting The Gift of Iris ...

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. 

~Author Unknown



Today was a beautiful fall day!  I decided I would plant my Iris bulbs along the drive way at my daughter's home.  As I made each hole, I wondered how many times I had planted these very bulbs.  Irises have always been one of my most favorite flowers, but these Irises in particular were very dear to my heart.  They had been a gift given out of love.

In the fall of 1989, I drove to Chicago with my children to meet my sister at her in-laws home.  While we visited, her father-in-law cleaned out his flower bed.  He asked if we would like to take any of the discarded Iris bulbs home.  My son Matthew, then entering 8th grade, readily agreed and packed them into the van.

The following Mother's Day in May of 1990, my son Matthew told me that he had not bought me a present, but if I would follow him outside, he had a surprise for me.  Together we walked out behind our old country home towards the garage by the big white fence.  There by the hand water pump, much to my surprise, were numerous Irises growing out of the rich dark soil.  They were an unforgettable gift to me, a reminder of my son's love. 

Matthew explained to me that it had been dark when we had returned from Chicago, but the very next morning, he had planted every bulb carefully into the ground.  At the age of eleven, he had decided to keep this a secret in case the bulbs had failed to grow. 

Every year, I am once again given the gift of his love when the Irises proudly poke through the ground and then display their various rich colors.  They have been a gift to treasure, and they have become a definite part of our family history.

When I left the country house and moved to a neighboring town, Matthew went back out to our country home and dug up the bulbs.  He planted them for me in the back yard by the deck.  They remained there for ten years.

With the children grown and out on their own, I moved to a condo in the city.  Once again, Matthew transplanted the Iris bulbs into my small courtyard.  Four years later, he would repeat this same routine, sinking these flowers lovingly into the soil where I then lived.

My son is now 33 years old planting his own lovely gardens in Illinois.  When he bought his home a few years back, he took some of the original Iris bulbs to plant in his own yard.  So today was a bittersweet day for me as I doubt that I will ever move these flowers again.  They will more than likely remain in Tennessee becoming a part of my daughter's history.

One thing for sure ... an Iris will always remind me of the gift of love that holds us all together.

Restoring the Spirit

True silence is the rest of the mind;

it is to the spirit

what sleep is to the body,

nourishment and refreshment.

William Penn

Last night, I woke up feeling like I had slept for ten hours, but glancing at the clock by my bed, I realized I had only slept for a few hours.  Wide awake, I got up, slipped on my robe and found my way to my favorite chair.  I lit a candle and stared at the flickering light. I lost myself by mentally slipping into the flame.

Memories from the day and any thoughts for a new agenda simply slid away.   I felt only peace and calm as I tried to work with my breath, breathing in calm and then exhaling stress.  Slowly, I felt like I was suspended, just 'being' in the moment.

My physical self seemed to fall away and in my mind, I wandered in the silence.  Soothing colors gently surrounded me and I was caressed by all that might comfort me.  I seemed to be restored through the presence of endless love.  There was no sense of time and eventually, I found myself awake.  I was sitting in my chair with the candle still flickering.

I blew out the candle and wandered back to bed, knowing that I would sleep well.  I felt as though my spirit had been deeply connected with all there is and all there ever will be.   

There are no means that I have found to adequately describe this time and space.   Every day words like solitude or dream simply do not encompass the depth of such an experience.   Meditation or contemplation is known to be a wonderful place for training the mind to be still and to experience suspension of time.  I have found that any technique in stilling the mind can lead to an open passage way to restoring the spirit.

To Be Seen and Not Heard ...

In our contacts it is probably the sense of being

really needed and wanted which gives us

the greatest satisfaction

and creates the most lasting bond.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Many of us were raised without the sense of having any needs.  As children, we were told to 'be seen and not heard'.  We were to be grateful for what we had and to ask for nothing; but as breathing human beings, we all have needs. 

So many of us grew up meeting the needs of others.  We were taught how to serve and obey.  Our goal became to meet all of the needs that a family may have.  And by doing so, we were unaware of the damage we were doing to our spirit.  We felt depleted without any thing left to offer.  We could not then feel desirable.

Ignoring our personal needs, we lavish attention on others.  We make others feel loved and adored.  Therapists would most likely tell us that our motivation for 'loving so well' was based on our own need to be loved.  Perhaps our subconscious was convincing us that if we loved someone totally, we would be secure in not ever being replaced.  Unfortunately, we who learn to adore our love, frequently fade and become invisible, hidden in our lover's light.

As in all things there must be a balance.  Harmony is created when each person is extending energy.  Through a healthy relationship, we help to support the dreams and needs of each other. 

To some degree, we all want to be recognized and heard.  We want to speak our truth and share our dreams.  Physical touch is imperative for infants, children, teens, adults, and the elderly to thrive.  Hugs are needed by everyone. 

Whether we are coupled or living alone, our needs can be met.  First, determine what individual needs are.  Second, imagine how these needs can realistically be met.  Third, create a plan of action as to how needs can best be met. 

Determining our individual needs can be done through conversations with a close friend or through journaling.  Writing down our random thoughts, quite often leads to discovery.  Meeting our needs can be addressed through support groups, memberships, adventures or planning a gathering of favorite people.  When we spend time with folks we care about, it enables us to become more aware of what we want more or less of.  Taking action always pulls us out of a funk or the role of a victim.  If we do not have a circle of friends, discover trusted energy workers or massage therapists in the community.  Where there is a will, there is a way.

We need to extend the same quality of loving kindness to our own mental and emotional health that we give to our family or friends.  We provide much better friendships when we first nurture our inner self.

Be nice to you!