No Water Under the Bridge ...

The darkest night is often

the bridge

to the brightest tomorrow.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Water under the bridge" is an old saying reflecting that a particular episode or personal feelings have been let go and the water's current has pulled

them on down stream.  In other words, the event has been processed and no longer impacting your life.

A few months ago, I traveled to an area near Asheville, North Carolina.  The journey there, attending the women's retreat, and the journey back home was absolutely magical.  Playing the Transformation Game throughout the five day span intensified this experience and created an intimacy amongst the four of us while traveling together and sharing rooms.

The trip to Isis Cove was important to me as I had set an intention that could alter the direction of my life.  My spiritual path had been expanding in depth and I questioned how to complete my worldly tasks in the remaining years of my life.  I had hoped that insights and experiences while with these 60 women would symbolically create a bridge, linking my present life with my projected dreams.  In my mind, I framed this intention as "Aligning my stars".

By the time I returned home, the construction of my bridge was nearly completed and the ink on my map to the future was almost dry. In a matter of months, my eight year relationship came to a close while doors of opportunity opened elsewhere.  Upon relocation, physical unpacking distracted me from the stress, emotion, and sense of loss building within me.

During a meditation, I envisioned my bridge recalling the journey across.  As I stood in the middle of my bridge, leaning against the railing, I looked down into the water ... except there was not any water flowing under the bridge!  How odd I thought.  Water is symbolically emotion and I knew I had plenty of that! 

In this meditative state, I glanced further down the rock bed to see where the water might be.  To my surprise there was a beaver dam that was holding all of the water back.  What could this mean to me?

After my meditation, I turned to one of my favorite resources, ANIMAL-SPEAK by Ted Andrews and looked up the meaning of beavers.  "Water has long been associated with emotions and with dreams.  One of the most common dreams the average person has it to have a home and a family.  This is embodied by the beaver.  It lives in a close-knit family, and beavers will mate for as long as both are alive.  If beaver has appeared in your life, it can reflect the opportunity to build upon your dreams." 

Exploring this information, taking it within me, applying it to my own situation, I began to realize that I had been under an adrenaline rush for two months if not more.  I had been driving myself,  a physical race to completion of moving. I had built a dam, repressing my emotional fears and tears. 

This began to make more sense to me.   If I had not processed my emotions, if they were blocked by a dam, I really could not let water pass under my bridge.  So one by one, I removed each broken limb that shored my sadness, loss, and loneliness. 

Today I stand on my bridge, sun shining on my face, and water gurgling as it gently flows beneath me.  My family draws near, my home is emotionally and physically nurturing, and I am ready to embrace all of my brightest tomorrows.