Happy Birthday to Me ...

When you were born,

you cried and the world rejoiced.

Live your life

so that when you die,

the world cries and you rejoice.

Cherokee Expression

Today is my birthday...my age has never been something that resonates within me.  I have always felt once removed from my physical time in space, almost as though it were irrelevant. 

Astrologically, I am a Cancer or rather a Moon Child who likes to be surrounded by familiar things and loves being at home entertaining family and friends.  According to the Tarot, my life path number is 20, The Aeon, indicating the need to be creative and dynamically expressive in all areas of my life.

If I could choose only one word to describe my life, it would be relationship as my life has been defined by relationship to people, places, challenges and nature.  To select a word that best describes my reaction to life, it would be compassion as I always seem to feel the emotions of others as they speak, hearing more deeply beyond the spoken words.  The expression of who I am is best projected through articulating silence and exploring inner landscapes through the written word or exchanges with kindred spirits. 

It is said that we are always where we are meant to be at every given moment, and yet I am never where I anticipated going.  The key seems to be in embracing the concept that the importance of life is in 'being' and I can most certainly do that anywhere.  Being 'me' has become the result of a very long journey of discovery.

Loving myself was cultivated only later in my life, but I do really like who I am.  I am 'comfortable in my own skin'.  I don't always understand why I see the world so differently ... more intently and yet more simply ... which makes me feel out of sync sometimes with others.  Although I remain flexible, I have worked too long on becoming authentic and I will not relinquish who I am today by being smaller for any one.

A quote from Menachem Mendel Schneerson, "Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again."  I have always been aware of my energy within, but only in the last few decades have I deliberately trained to extend it.  Energy can take the form of love, prayer, light, or healing, but energy is always intended for the highest good. 

So today I celebrate the gifts that have been so generously bestowed upon me and I let go of all the old that no longer supports who I yearn to be.  My heart is filled with thanksgiving for all who have been a part of my life, teaching me and allowing me to stretch and grow.  I wish for guidance, consciousness, and courage to be all that Divine hoped for me to be. 

Magical Moments

People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle.  But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth.  Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize:  a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child - our own two eyes.  All is a miracle.  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

A long time ago, I was studying body language.  In one book there was an interesting, but simple revelation.  If you noticed a person walking sluggishly with his head hanging down, he was more than likely feeling the weight of the world and not in an emotionally stable place.  If you noticed a person walking carefully with eyes straight a head without wavering, he was probably rigid and carefully trying not to upset the pattern of life.  Lastly, if you noticed a person looking up into the sky and observing everything around him (people, nature, animals) and seemed to have a bounce to his step, he was probably connected with all of life.

This is no great revelation and yet it is profound.  Over the years, it has kept me mindful to take in all that surrounds me.  There are miracles everywhere if we just slow down and observe.  Developing this as a constant practice, I tend to find magical moments popping up out of nowhere!

The Law of Process

Taking Life Step-By-Step

Process transforms any journey

into a series of small steps,

taken one by one,

to reach any goal.

Process transcends time,

teaches patience,

rests on a solid foundation

of careful preparation,

and embodies trust

in our unfolding potential.

THE LAWS OF SPIRIT

by Dan Millman

It is difficult to break things down into little steps and to be patient.  To release all that is familiar and to not be able to see around the bend, rattles my knowing heart.  This pause in time allows insecurities to resurface and like pebbles caught in my shoe, they must be dug out and cast to the side of the road...once and for all.

Time is not mine and all that I have is each moment dwelling within me.  The chatter of the outside world must not distract me as my path unfolds beneath my feet.  I must place one foot in front of the other until the road feels familiar again, safe to break stride, and spreading wings to fly.

The Stripping Process

Excerpt:

The first thing people do when restoring old chairs is strip --- strip right down to the bare wood.  They do this to see what the original might have looked like and to determine if the thing is worth doing over.  They strip away all the years of grime, the garish coats of paint piled one on top of the other.  They get rid of all the junk that's been tacked on through the years and try to find the solid, simple thing that's underneath.

I'm like an old chair needing that stripping process.  Every now and then I have to take a really hard look at the illusions I've built up in myself and my society, see what I've gotten myself into.  Illusions?  Yes, illusions; the excess baggage I carry around, the unnecessary, the socially expected, all that keeps me living off center too long.  Stripping myself of all this is an intentional letting go of these illusions.  It is a spiritual act of personal forgiveness.  God lets us let go.

It's hard work to let God forgive me.  I have to discover the original under all these coats I've added, strip away all the cynicism and anger I've built up, get rid of the junk I've taken on, defy my disappointments, and find what is real again.

                                                           --- Donna Schaper
                                                                in Stripping Down

This morning I was sitting in my comfy chair in the computer room, gazing out the window watching the birds.  The sun was shining and all seemed right with my world.  Then in the next instant, the sun was still shining, but it was raining at the same time!  How odd I thought, but then I realized it was not odd at all.  Nature was simply reflecting my own inner feelings...grateful for bright new beginnings, but sorrow for what must be released.

Like an old chair, layers of caked on grime and paint must be removed from me in order to "try to find the solid, simple thing that's underneath."  I won't be using harsh chemicals, but rather a soft hand sanding to gently brush the old away.  Rubbing ever so softly, I will hopefully not destroy the original grain. This process may take a while, but the outcome will be well worth the effort. 

God's forgiveness is not difficult for me to receive at all.  The warmth of the Divine light surrounds me.  The spiritual personal forgiveness ... ah, that's the rub for me.

Rainy Days and Sundays ...

In London, the weather would affect me negatively.  I react strongly to light.  If it is cloudy and raining, there are clouds and rain in my soul. ~ Jerzy Kosinski


It is raining today while I continue to unpack.  I take a break and step outside onto the patio, breathing in the fragrant smell of the spring rain.  I watch the birds play in the bird bath and wish I could feel just as playful.  I walk into the yard and let my toes and the soles of my feet glory in the sensual texture of the grass.  I lift my face to the sky, and the gentle rain feels too much like tears running off my chin, so I quickly retreat inside.

Even though I am secure in the knowledge that I have chosen the right course for this part of my life, I still struggle with this process of letting go.  My words are dispirited and my heart grows heavy.   My gaze is drawn back to the rain.

Tired of thinking, I stretch out upon my bed and raise the window to listen through the screen.  The birds are loudly chirping and the rain continues to fall ... "there are clouds and rain in my soul." 

When You Remember Me ...

When you remember me,

it means that you have carried something of who I am with you,

that I have left some mark of who I am or who you are.

It means that you can summon me back to your mind

even though countless years and miles may stand between us.

It means that if we meet again,

you will know me.

It means that even after I die,

you can still see my face

and hear my voice

and speak to me in your heart.

~ Frederick Buechner 

Amercian Author, b. 1926 

Recently, I relocated with the help of family and friends.  Although I am eager to see what life has in store for me, I feel the absence of the women who have walked with me on my spiritual path.  During the last several years, acquaintances became friends and friends became "sisters of the heart".  Each and every one were a gift enriching my spirit.

As I journey into the last chapters of my life, it is my desire to be creatively productive.  Writing, energy work, presentations and creative expression in a variety of forms all are available to me.  I want my life to be balanced with articulation and solitude.

As I walk through each new room where I now call home, I glance out the windows seeing trees, birds, and lovely flowers.  Yesterday, I refurbished my bird feeders, cleaned out my unique bird bath, and displayed a flowering plant to create a lovely little area that can be viewed from my computer room or bedroom.  So far I have seen Mourning/Morning Doves, Cardinals, and Blue Jays.  I am hoping that the Finches will find their way to the thistle!

I have an array of boxes waiting to be unpacked.  Years of my life flash before my eyes as I discover old treasures mixed in with the more current.  I, of course, have unpacked all of my books and they are appropriately settled back into their familiar places on the shelves.  They too reflect different times and places.  Books are like dear old friends, offering wisdom and insight, keeping me company in solitude, and stimulating ideas to be researched for personal growth.

My life is full.  I choose to focus on all that is good and welcome the blessings that accompany my lessons.  I must remember I am never alone and I am much more
than I appear to be.

For A New Beginning

For A New Beginning

In out-of-the way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness growing inside of you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the gray promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

John O'Donohue

(To Bless the Space Between Us)

This lovely poem was read to me during a group celebration for my transition into new chapters of my life.  Four lovely 'sisters of my heart' gathered around me and these softly spoken words resonated within my inner being. 

Without their love, encouragement, and insight, my spirit would not have so easily awakened to this lovely adventure awaiting me!

*I will carry all four of you in my heart forever ... Nancy, Sandy, Mary, and Kristal

Wrong Way Go Back

 

Withstanding the tension between opposites

until we know it is "enough" releases us from

the swing between one extreme and the other.

--Helen Luke

As I move through changes in my life, I frequently find myself stressed from entertaining opposite viewpoints.  I carefully examine what I perceive as truth, and then spend a great deal of time exploring what some one else may see as truth in the very same situation.  This can be exhausting.

A long time ago, I learned that it is important to listen to the guidance of others, but that I must then choose what works best for me.  I know my heart, my truth, and the way of my path.  I have spent years going within to discover what is best for me.  It took many journeys into the darkness of the past to remove the obstacles that had built up over the years, hiding my most basic nature. 

Once excavation of the past is complete, I can readily connect with what resonates within me.  If I don't truly know who I am, how can I know what is best for me?  If I give my power away by following the wants, desires, needs of others, rather than addressing my own wants, desires, and needs, I end up going in the wrong direction.  I end up on some one else's path, and not my own.

If you find yourself feeling like a stranger in your own life, perhaps you are following some one else's dream.  If you have wandered so far from your inner beauty, how would you know what you truly desired?  Take time to visualize how your life might look if you unplugged from organizations or relationships or employment and put to use your natural abilities.  What would you be doing if you did not have any obligations to any one or any thing?  How would your life be different?  Dare to dream a little dream.

Realizing that one cannot dramatically change a lifestyle over night, begin small.  Maybe take a yoga class or piano lessons or a photography class.  Creative paths will lead within slowly building esteem and a new sense of self.

If deep down inside, you feel as though you are not living your authentic life, and physically you are over whelmed by stress, stop!  Enough is enough! You are going the wrong way, go back!

Becoming Your Self ...

The thing that is really hard,

and really amazing

is giving up on being perfect

and beginning the work of

becoming your self.

Anna Quindlen

As much as I dislike change, I don't ever want to stop changing.  I long to explore and continuously discover parts of my inner self.  By carrying light into my dark shadows, I begin to recognize barriers that keep me from personal growth.  

Transitions have never been easy for me and I have had to reframe shifts from appearing as fearful to actualized freedom.  I can use the energy once used for holding masks of perfection in place, for discovering and enjoying my authentic self. 

It is a special gift of the heart when a friend not only recognizes your spiritual flowering, but celebrates it with you as well.   As in all things, however, in order to embrace the new, some of the old falls away.

What is Joy?

What is Joy?

Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness.
Happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in

sometimes when you are lucky.

Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love.

~Adela Rogers St. Johns

   

              

Life at Hand

Carrying the past with us is always more burdensome than any mistake we have made.  Guilt, resentment, and criticism of self or others for past deeds is far more debilitating than a momentary error.  Any energy we invest in reliving or resenting the past detracts from the life at hand. 
                              
                                A Deep Breath Of Life  by Alan Cohen

I'm A Dreamer

Imagine all the people

living life in peace.

You may say

I'm a dreamer,

but I'm not the only one.

I hope some day you'll join us

and the world will be as one.

John Lennon

Father's Day ...

I cannot think of any need in childhood

as strong as the need

for a father's protection.

Sigmund Freud

                                   

On this day I remember the man I adored.

I stood by his bedside with death at the door.

I didn't know then my heart would be shattered

to learn the truth, that I never mattered.

Memories crept out of the dark in my soul,

followed by healing for me to grow whole.

It all makes sense now looking back,

fiction replaced by glaring fact.

Wherever you are, know this to be true,

the pen in my hand writes in spite of you.

  

This Night Will Pass ...

This night will pass ...

Then we have work to do ...

Everything has to do

with loving and not loving ...

--Rumi

Realms Long Forgotten

Earth, Virginia, is for champions, heroes, and lovers.                      Winners of an ancient race won in realms long forgotten against                                           fear, doubt, and vagueness. You're here because you prevailed. You saw clearly. Strong in spirit, deep in character, and fast to fall in love. And for these extraordinary qualities, anything you can now imagine you've already earned.     The Universe  theuniverse@tut.com So fast to fall in love, Virginia to forgive, rebound, and dance back into the light ... in those crazy bird-shaped shoes of yours. ~~~~~~~~~~~ So how do they know about my shoes?

True Value of Time

Know the true value of time;

snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it.

No idleness; no laziness; no procrastination;

never put off till tomorrow

what you can do today.

Lord Chesterfield

Listen to the Heart ...

What is so important that we have time to

read all the books on love and relationships,

but we do not have time to listen

to the heart of our lover?

--Molly Vass

There is plenty of time to listen to the heart of a lover, but sometimes, there is nothing to be heard.  We can sit very quietly listening for truth or engage in deep conversation for understanding and still be left in a quandary.

So in place of truth, we create illusions causing the relationship to appear as we want it to be rather than how it really is.  We ignore the body language and the disrespectful behavior, and continue to lavish affection upon our lover.  We allow our self to be led farther and farther away from the reality in which we live.

It takes great effort to keep up the pretense that love is swell, so we keep giving and giving until we run dry.  There comes that critical point when we realize there is nothing left to give and our love has not been replenished.

We hold our self responsible and face the lesson at hand.  It is not selfish to want more ... to be appreciated, respected, and loved, but we cannot teach the lover how to love.  We each love in our own way. 

"Grow where you are planted," says artist Mary Englebright.  But in order to have stable and healthy roots, the soil must be rich for growth.  There must be sunshine and rain, shelter and nutrients or the roots will shrivel or rot or die. 

Yes, we must listen to the heart of our lover, but first we must listen to our own heart to be clear of what we desire.  We must keep our vision clear to see how things really are and not how we want them to be. 

We must focus on our own growth and deminish our shadows.  In time, our lover will be drawn to our radiant light.  Our lover will want to be present in our life while listening to our heart.

Beautiful Discovery

The most beautiful discovery true friends make

is that they can grow separately without

growing apart.

Elizabeth Foley

Sunshine or Shadow

Keep your face to the sunshine

and you cannot see a shadow.

Helen Keller

The weather was beautiful yesterday and I was able to return to my three mile walking route.  It was glorious to be outside with the sun shining on my face accompanied by a gentle breeze.  I heard the birds chirping and watched the squirrels darting in and out of their secret hiding spaces.  The trees and flowers reflected a vibrant energy that seemed to lift my spirits easily.

Too frequently I hide my face from the radiant sun and find myself standing in the shadows.  If I would just momentarily linger in the shadows examining the effects of the sun, I would be fine, but unfortunately, once I step into the shadows, I have the tendency to get stuck.

In his book, The New Earth, Eckhart Tolle talks about the pain body.  (If my copy of this excellent book were not packed away, I would be sharing wonderful quotes.)  Eckhart Tolle speaks about the pain body living within us, waking up and desiring to be fed...with drama and emotions.  We over feed it, stuffing it with endless drama, building negative energies in the process.  Eventually, the pain body is stuffed and goes back to sleep.  Then our life goes on for awhile until the pain body wakes again, demanding to be fed.

Have you ever been just perfectly fine and then some negative thought flits across your mind?  We click on rewind and then pause.  We look at this pain and recall how it felt and the emotional reactions it caused.  This viewing once again awakens the original pain, increases the pain with additional emotions, and leaves us feeling terrible once again.  This is orchestrated by the pain body.

It is in our best interest to be able to recognize the demands of the pain body to be fed.  Compare it to being on a diet.  Our tummy growls, but we learn to distract our self and not immediately force down unnecessary foods.  The same is true for the pain body.  When it makes demands to be fed, we need to distract ourselves by not recalling old memories that will cause us to feel badly.  Instead, we must consciously choose to bring positive emotional thoughts into our awareness in order to feel loved and whole.

So when we find our selves standing in the shadows, getting chilled and feeling alone, let's turn our face to the sun.  Let the sun shine upon us and warm us with the promise that we are never really alone. 

Journey Together

"Imagine that everyone you meet is here to assist you to go deeper in your wisdom, healing, and joy.  Do not be fooled by appearances;  use your higher vision until you find the gold."    --- A Deep Breathe of Life by Alan Cohen

As we travel through our day, let us be mindful that all things can be teachers for us.  We can observe random acts of kindness or thoughtless hurtful behavior which can impact our own approach to life.  Observing the beauty in nature can be a catalyst for inspiration or healing.  By taking time to respect all things, we become more respectful to our selves. 

Instead of observing through the eyes of preconceived judgment, observe with compassion and love.  We are all children of the Divine, each following a path of discovery that will lead to being loved, heard and understood.  Be steadfast in finding the the golden light inside of every beating heart as we journey through life together.

Dance ...

Dance like no one is watching.

Sing like no one is listening.

Love like you have never been hurt

and live like it's heaven on earth.

Mark Twain

For the Time of Necessary Decision

May we have the courage to take the step

Into the unknown that beckons us,

Trust that a richer life awaits us there,

That we will lose nothing

But what has already died;

Feel the deeper knowing in us sure

Of all that is about to be born beyond

The pale frames where we stayed confined,

Not realizing how such vacant endurance

Was bleaching our soul's desire.

To Bless The Space Between Us

by John O'Donohue

Losing Your Vision

He asked,"Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?"

St. Anthony replied, "Yes, losing your vision."

Throughout my life, I have had a sense that my life purpose was pretty basic and it was not to be esteemed grandeur.  Repeatedly, a foreknowledge would impress itself upon me, but I was way too easily distracted to remain focused on an ideal.  For years, just below the surface, a lofty musing entertained my imagination about who I was meant to be. 

There seemed to be a dance I did, learning the steps along the way.  It was not something eloquent like a waltz or speedy like the jitterbug.  It was more like a dawdle between religion and spirituality.  One day I decided that I needed to either step completely onto a spiritual path or give it up forever.

Once committed to finding spiritual passage, I devoured books, used creative visualization and meditation.  I began to learn energy work and like a snake, shed my old skin during the Dark Night of the Soul.  For almost one year, I felt like a computer that had its memory wiped clean leaving no files or documents for me to find my way. 

Facing the opportunity to start anew, I was kindled by passion, but I still managed to wander off my path a time or two or three or four.  It seemed that every time I had a very strong sense of my life purpose, I allowed some one else to label it as 'pie in the sky' or a 'pipe dream' or  a 'fool's quest' and willingly began to follow their dream. 

Each and every time or two or three or four, my loss of vision, my incomplete quest, and my intense sense of inner lack lured me back onto my path.  One day I was forced to acknowledge that I only had just so many years left, and whatever it is I was meant to do in this life, I really needed to get it done, and quickly!

Accepting and embracing my vision to finally step fully into my role as author and energy worker, the Universe has walked along beside me as though it were a gentleman, opening doors and escorting me to where I needed to go.

With the encouragement and support of both family and friends, I feel fueled with energy ready to meet the tasks that lay before me.  Yes, I am starry-eyed, standing fully on two well grounded feet, and filled with joy as my vision is so clear.  I know who I am and what I am meant to do. 

In the Company of Angels

 

Several years ago, I was driving home from work after a very discouraging day. 
As I settled into my routine drive home, very ugly clouds began taking form. When I reached the interstate, I realized I was driving straight into a storm. I felt so discouraged and alone that I didn't really consider the consequences when I decided to race the storm home. 

Blinded by pouring rain, I quickly pulled into my garage. I entered the house feeling grateful for having beat the storm home.  I stripped off my clothes and slipped into a robe. I stretched out on my bed semi-aware of the increasing strength of the wind blowing against my home. I remember thinking, "If I get blown away with this storm, I really don't care," but when the lights flickered and the electricity went off, I reconsidered.

Jumping up to look out the window, I threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. The trees in the front yard were blown sideways and it was raining so hard I could barely see. The pressure in my home seemed to increase and it felt as though the windows would shatter at any moment. Then I heard the tornado siren!

I grabbed my shoes, a pillow, and a quilt, and sprinted to the hallway which had always been the family's designated 'safe place'. The hallway did not have any windows and without electricity it was pitch dark. I positioned myself on my back down on the floor. I tucked the pillow behind my head and covered my body with my quilt.

My worst fear was being actualized...facing death alone and having no chance to say good-bye to my children. While the house vibrated, I could hear the mimicked sound of a mighty roaring train announcing that a tornado indeed was close by. Sobs of fear racked my body, and I pinched my eyes closed preparing for the worst.  I had never felt so vulnerable in the path of destruction.

In the midst of the darkness, simultaneously, these following things happened. In spite of the electricity being off, the stereo in the living room mysteriously began playing my favorite CD entitled IN THE COMPANY OF ANGELS by Robin Miller. Startled, my eyes flew open in time to see the brilliant faces of cherubs hovering on the ceiling. In an unspoken language, a message was delivered. "You are never alone." Within an instant, the music stopped and the hallway returned to darkness.

I have not been able to satisfactorily explain this experience to myself nor to others, but I continue to be thankful for my safety.  Ever since the passing of the tornado, physically being alone no longer bothers me.  I truly believe that I am always IN THE COMPANY OF ANGELS.

Dream a Little Dream

Always aim at complete harmony

of thought, word and deed.

Always aim at purifying your thoughts

and everything will be well. 

Mohandas Gandhi

Sometimes we focus upon a dream or goal the first thing of the morn and capture a snapshot view of how our life could be filled with hope and desire.  Then, unfortunately, we spend the remainder of the day criticizing our job performance, questioning our abilities, and dismantling the the dream steps of the early morn.

Dreams do come true, but our vision must be held in our thoughts, words, and deeds.  We must maintain positive thoughts about our most inner self and capabilities.  Expressing our desires out loud to a friend or employer can elevate our inspiration.  The action or the deed that sets dreams in motion is also required when attempting to fulfill a dream.

Dreams just don't happen by themselves.  We receive nothing but disappointment if we just sit at home wishing our lives away.  If we align our thoughts, words, and deeds in a positive manner, creating honest effort towards our goal, a positive outcome is much more likely. 

So why not dream a little dream? Carry it with you all day long reflecting on all of the strengths you have that would support your venture.   Engage others in brainstorming while truly listening for information that may synchronistically guide you to furthering your plan.  Lastly, take basic steps towards developing your concept.   Browse in a book store or explore the Internet in search of resources that expand upon your ideal. 

Sometimes, it is just a matter of taking a leap!

Begin

Begin

Though time makes no difference,

there is a time

when all things begin.

It's in the timing,

one breath then another

and our paths unfold before us,

unfurl like flags,

one step at a time.

Then we may rise to the sun

or float up to the moon,

whichever you prefer.

For myself,

I choose the moon.

She knows my path,

and lights my way

with silver.

Robin Heerens Lysne

Waiting For The Song Bird

Keep a green tree in your heart

and perhaps a singing bird will come.

Chinese Proverb

One of my favorite gifts of spring is being able to leave the windows open welcoming in the sounds of nature.  Listening to the birds, hearing the wind blow through the trees, and embracing the fragrances of the early blooming flowers, bushes, and trees allows me to sweetly connect with nature. 

As I sit in silence surrounded by the sounds of nature, I gently pull all that I sense inwards generating peace and calm.  For these brief moments the energy of all things gently gather into one and lovingly wash over me while I wait for the singing bird to come.

Some Rain Must Fall ...

Be still, sad heart, and cease repining;

Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;

Thy fate is the common fate of all,

Into each life some rain must fall,

Some days must be dark and dreary.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The Many Parts of Self

EXCERPTED FROM the InnerSelf.com article: 
Am I My Personality?
by Roberto Kaplan.

Examine for a moment what perceptions you have about the relationship between your personality and who you are. Spend some time looking deeply into your life and your self. The aim is to be able to be with yourself nonjudgmentally, fully embracing the many parts of yourself and striving to be aware of what feeds your essence.

Western Culture tends to use labels, to classify, and to have every person logged into a particular place; whereas Eastern Culture has a tendency to focus on differing parts of the self.

It is important to recognize that we are composed of many parts and each part needs to be recognized and respected.  We are not just one thing, but rather we are multi-sided like a crystal.

We may be very organized at work, but procrastinate at home.  Within our home, we may be very gregarious, but shy in public.  It is important for us to recognize all aspects of the self and embrace them.  Words such as polarities, dualities, or dark verses light, all reference our inner diversities. 

Actually, we can think of ourselves as a large crayon box.  We have the freedom to be any shade of the color spectrum we choose.  By paying attention, we can determine which color matches us best in certain situations.  Being either abstract or detailed, we can blend, contrast, scribble or print. Practice using different colors and detect how each crayon in your hand begins to feel.

So once again we are called to explore our inner landscapes in order to define our true self.  As we move inward, we will find little pebbles of information and perhaps discover writings on concealed walls or inhale a fragrance that will transport memory back into time.  All will lead to discovery.

Be daring on the journey!  Think outside of the box and be sure to color out side of the lines!

The Spiral Road Within ...

Wisteria in Nashville, Tennessee

When I focus on the rake of experiences and how its fingers dug into me and the many feet that have walked over me, there is no end to the life of my pain.  But when I focus on the soil of heart and how it has been turned over, there is no end to the mix of feelings that defy my want to name them. 

Tragedy stays alive by feeling what's been done to us while peace comes alive by living with the result.  The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo


As a child, I promised my self that I would never live in the atmosphere of chaos; but as an adult, I learned that all of life is chaos.  So I set out to learn how to live a peaceful life in the midst of chaos.

Through discovery, I found solitude in certain locations such as in nature or private chapels. Being in the presence of enlightened  individuals nurtured my personal growth as did reading in cloistered space.  There were many things 'out there' waiting to stimulate my soul.

In time, however, I came to realize that true peace resides within my inner being.  One must travel inwards to discover what stands in the way of peace and how those barriers can be removed.  The well trodden path spiraling within teaches respect, love, and connectedness to all things.  To me, this is peace.

So when the chaos in life threatens to overwhelm me, I travel inside through creative visualization, prayer or meditation.   Any of these practices allow me to  focus on the blessings in my life and peace spreads through my soul.  There will always be chaos in life, but I will choose to focus on that which is good.

Come to the edge...

Come to the edge, he said.

No, I am afraid!

Come to the edge, he said.

No, I am afraid.

Then he pushed me and I flew!

Author Unknown

With hindsight, it is quite evident that when I have been brave enough to take a calculated risk, I have reaped rewards.  The times I have not been brave enough to move forward, synchronicity eventually connected the dots for me. 

Free will allows me to travel along my spiritual path and permits me to wander where I am not necessarily destined to go.  After awhile, however, I believe that Spirit finally says, "Enough!" and nudges me back onto the right road.

In my heart I do know that when I depend upon the great Divine, the outcome is far less frightening than when I lean upon my fears. When I allow Spirit to move me around like a verb, my highest good prevails.  In this way, being a verb, I am able to bring my light into the lives of others that I would normally not meet by just standing around being a noun.

So I stand on the cliff with my toes crimped upon the edge, waiting for the gentle push that will give me wings to fly!

Letting Go ...

Keep in mind that letting go

isn't the end of the world,

it's the beginning

of a new life.

author unknown

It has never been easy for me to let go whether or not it is about releasing a friend, a book, a child, a lover, or the last potato chip in the bag.  Moving along has always been challenging even if I have been clinging to that which is not good for me.  Somehow the known has always been more appealing than the unknown. 

Many years ago I found myself clutching onto a situation that was no longer healthy for me.  In the deepest part of myself, I knew it was time to make a change.  Even though opportunity was pounding upon my door, I watched my feet slowly shuffle forward rather than running with glee.

The only constant in life is change and so I am called to master letting go to make inevitable transitions more gracefully.  I must focus on the adventure that opens before me and trust that all will unfold.