Need of God ...

"Something is missing in my heart tonight

That has made my eyes so soft

And my voice so tender

And my need of God so absolutely clear."

Hafiz

Each Day Too Short

"I still find each day too short

for all the thoughts I want to think,

all the walks to take,

all the books I want to read

and all the friends I want to see."

John Burroughs

Statistics report that we each have 60,000 words to speak every day.  I am wondering where the unused words go.  Do they spill over into the next day like 'roll over minutes' with cell phones or do the words stay lodged inside waiting for the send button to be pressed?  Like cell phones, we have mute options to silence the self or a speaker phone for an all inclusive family lecture. Is texting like mental note taking with the mind racing against time?  Individualized ring tones are similar to the pitches of our voice, adjusting to speaking levels based upon relationship, respect or familiarity. 

Doctors encourage physical exercise such as jogging, walking, or fitness centers.  There does not seem to be measurements, however, for everyday life like chasing after toddlers, rushing after escaped pets, dashing through the mall, or lugging laundry or groceries up one stair to the next. 

For most people, reading is a required tool to navigate through life.  There are so many books:  recipes, gardening, budget ledgers, business reports, legal documents, and statistical data.  Reading through a stack of monthly bills seldom leaves time for a leisurely read.

Some careers require extensive traveling, surrounded by many people, but engaging with few.  With 'blackberries' or electronic planners time with friends can be squeezed in between existing appointments or sadly not at all. Elders frequently become home bound and live reclusive lives, talking only to family. 

I am blessed with leisure.  From daylight to darkness, I use all of my words, no longer willing to be stiffled by any judge or jury.  I walk in the glory of nature to be connected daily with all that surrounds me.  I read for both wisdom and pleasure to escape into realities of others who bravely placed their words upon the page.  I eagerly embrace arriving friends from dawn to dusk as they are the gifts of life.  Even when the day grows too short, it has been filled with all that nourishes me and rejeuvenates my soul.

  

Inhale and Exhale ...

"Inhale and God approaches you.
Hold the inhalation and God remains with you.
Exhale and you approach God.
Hold the exhalation and surrender to God."
Krishnamacharya

Teacher ...

 

"A teacher is one

who makes himself

progressively unnecessary."

Thomas Carruthers



Perhaps the Truth ...

"Perhaps the truth depends on

a walk around the lake." 

 Wallace Stevens

There are times in life when thoughts overwhelm.  The mind can be flooded with distorted images, faceless fear, and isolated feelings.  Just by getting out in nature, a sense of calm can spread through the body.  The sun can melt the freezing thoughts that paralyze attempts at solution.  A gentle breeze blowing against the face can soften an outlook of despair.  Faith can be rekindled by simply observing the beauty of nature  in the brilliant color of flowers; the shades of green in grass, bush, and tree;  birds in graceful flight;  and clouds mysteriously suspended in the sky.  Steps can lead back to home carrying a stronger sense of hope and clarity.

Hope is Faith

"Hope is faith

holding out

its hand

in the dark."

George Iles

Sweetness of Friendship

"In the sweetness of friendship
let there be laughter,
and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed."

Kahlil Gibran

Waiting For The Arrival Of Spring

"Spring is when you feel like whistling

even with a shoe full of slush."

Doug Larson

Some days are filled with determination and intention will not be delayed.  Then there are the other days filled with idle curiosity and the waiting for the arrival of spring. 

First Step

"You don't have to see the whole staircase,

just take the first step."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Spring is a wonderful time to begin a journey of discovery, traveling to intimate places previously unknown and learning a language all your own.

Fear Is The Cheapest Room

"Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living in better conditions."

Hafiz

What You Know ...

""It's not where you are from;  it's where you are going.

It's not what you drive;  it's what drives you.

It's not what's on you;

It's what's in you.

It's not what you think;

It's what you know.

Gatorade

This picture displays rocks of different shapes, colors, and facial expressions.   It is difficult to decide which has the greatest appeal as they all reflect individual uniqueness.   

Our culture tends to cultivate rewards for sameness or the ability to fit in rather than encouraging personal talents or strengths.  If Divine Spirit creates each one of us uniquely just like a snowflake, why are individual gifts not celebrated? 

In early years, we mimick our parents which is displayed by toddlers repeating inappropriate phrases or trying to apply mother's makeup or wear dad's tie.  At school age, replication of classmates reaches a high stress level, accelerated by bullying and unfortunately sometimes ending in suicide.  Once held passion may soon be forgotten if it is not 'cool' enough for peers.  As young adults, we hide aspects of ourselves to fit into the right groups or to be accepted by certain jobs.  Desires and dreams melt from the hot pressure of success.  Eventually, all of this accumulates and creates a sense of inner isolation or disintegration.

So how can individuality return bringing freedom, happiness and alignment?  A person needs to stand back and observe what resonates within the 'self'.  What direction would the heart really like to go?  Survey talents and weaknesses, deciding how they can be best used.  All of these steps require going within and being still to rediscover what has been forgotten or repressed in attempts to please others.  What best defines the real spirit inside?

Through exploring inner landscapes, 'soul's purpose' can be discovered and  a greater sense of self can direct actions that better support rekindled dreams and desires.  Celebrate new vision and start dreaming.  Take action that will facilitate positive change and just watch what the Divine returns in kind. 

To pray or meditate or visualize increases self-confidence and greater self-respect.  Sensations of clarity, calm, and peace assist in creating better internal and external communication.  Articulating silence strengthens courage and actions to achieve new goals. Interact with a mentor or embrace a friend, and tell them what you know!

Step Upon A Spiritual Path

"Once we believe in ourselves,

we can risk curiosity, wonder

and spontaneous delight or any

experiences that reveals

the human spirit."

e.e. cummings

Deliberately step onto a spiritual path with eyes of innocence like that of a child.  Be alert for spontaneous magic to pop up in every day experiences that are otherwise mundane.  Do not fear change, but rather face new landscapes with fierce fearlessness.  Let optimism explode in the mind while hope floods the rapidly beating heart. 

It is through observations of the human spirit that courage develops and facilitates the growth of an authentic 'self'.  By watching others with loving kindness, inspiration reveals itself inviting exploration of hidden aspects yet to unfold. 

Be not afraid.  The spiritual path leading within holds adventure, wisdom, and magnificent beauty.  The journey escorts the traveler to peace, calm and understanding. The adventurer ponders never ending questions, but the answers patiently await discovery.  

If not already a journeyer, seriously consider the opportunity to step upon a spiritual path and let life gently unfold.  There is nothing to lose, and everything to gain!

Greater Than ...

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."  Mother Teresa

One Bloom of Hope ...

"All it takes is one bloom of hope
to make a spiritual garden."

Terri Guillemets

A Spiritual Journey

 

"Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. 

Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before.

Let your soul take you where you long to be.

Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar,

and you'live as you've never lived before!"

Erich Fromm

I believe, a person begins a spiritual journey when they are born. More accurately, when there is awareness in the womb waiting to be birthed, the journey has indeed begun.  In childhood, spiritual understandings prevail until adults or cultural belief systems create doubt regarding what appears to be truth.

As life continues, spiritual insights seem to float in and out of our consciousness.  These bits of wisdom may present themselves in books, movies, conversations or dreams.  I think of them as nudges trying to wake us up to what is real and true.  Unexplainable synchonicities or coincidences occur, but they can be just short of miraculous bookmarks tracking the progress of the journey.

When steps are deliberately placed upon a spiritual path the journey leads to soul desires.  Once surrendered, tired of ignoring the call from within to wake up and take part in an unfolding spiritual life,  out dated beliefs start to fade away as well as friends who no longer offer support.  The spiritual journey is an individual passage, but teachers, new friends or experiences appear and facilitate learning.

It doesn't matter how long it takes to find the spiritual path.  What matters is taking those steps to follow.  Shedding what no longer serves and defrocking what no longer fits, the ego is set aside in preparation for the creation of your most authentic self.  Opening the heart to compassion, courage, and love can lead into long spells of darkness necessary for cleansing and making room for new growth. It can be like a hibernation, mulling over what new seeds need planting come spring.  When following the light, hard choices are made, but the rewards are inmeasurable.

The soul waits, eager to lead where heart longs to be and the path begins to unfold.  Join this spiritual journey,traveling within and allowing your spirit to soar!

When I Stand Before God ...

"When I stand before God
at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have
a single bit of talent left and could say:
I used everything you gave me."

Erma Bombeck

Spring in Nashville

"Let Go of Who You Think

You're Supposed to Be

and Embrace Who You Are"

Brene` Brown

It is Spring in Nashville, TN, with flowering Dogwoods, Pear Trees, tulips, crocus, pansies, and more!  The grass is green and little buds and leaves are popping out on all of the branches. The temperatures are in the high 70's and my toes are free in my flip flops again! 

In my daughter's back yard, I settle myself into an old white wicker rocker which for years adorned my own porch.  I feel like I am being held by an old friend again!   Weathered, it is showing its age..sagging here and there, color wearing off, and rockers need restoring...all things that could be said about me!

I have been many things in this old white wicker...mother, grandmother, neighbor and friend.  This rocker supported me while I day dreamed with my bubble machine, wrote for hours in my journals, and  explored the evolution of relationships, career, and seasons.  This old friend embraced me when I cried or laughed, wondering who I was to be. 

Rightfully so, the old wicker now belongs to the next generation. On my daughter's porch. it does much of the same ... listens, embraces, supports, and gently rocks her loving spirit into the wise woman she eventually become.

Many Truths

"Say not, I have found the truth,

but rather I have found a truth."

Kahlil Gibran

There are many truths and what is true for one may not be true for another.  With this reasoning, search ancient truths, research current psychology, and experience body work, such as massage or one of the many modalities of energy workers.   These experiences blended with exploring inner landscapes unlock personal truth.  Discoveries are made and the path unfolds.

Aligned ...

"I am not aligned therefore there is not strength to support me.
I cannot stand as all reasoning has turned to liquid.

Loneliness, sadness and isolation, all are my enemies.

Fear is the cage that holds me."

Mark Nepo

Behavioral occurances run through my years, just like threads weaving through the fabric of life.  I have learned, forgotten, and then learned again at a deeper level while breaking a thread here and there, selecting clashing colors and designing a unique pattern.  All of this creates who I am today.

As I ponder my life, I can see the pattern that has been formed, but acknowledge that there are a few strands of thread remaining to complete the design.  The part left unwoven is my writing.  Even though I have been a writer all of my life as well as an avid reader, I have neglected to follow through with sharing my writings on a larger scale. 

In these later years, I sense an obligation to myself to write what comes through my heart, my soul, and my spiritual beliefs.  It seems that if I cross over at the completion of this life without this task well done, my life contracts will not have been fulfilled.

I believe that it is this incompletion that draws loneliness, sadness, and isolation to me.  It is when I utilize my skills and gifts with attention and awareness that strength fills me entirely.   When I am aligned with all that is within me, realization dawns that the cage has never been locked and freedom is obtained with a simple shoulder shove to the door.

 

Nothing Has To Happen Today

    "You don't have to take everything so seriously

Reality isn't black and white, answers aren't always

     yes or no, and absolutely nothing has to happen today.

    Act when you're ready.  Be led by your feelings.

    And the next time someone wants to fit you into

   a mold, just tell 'em that your jeans are in the wash,

   your angel's at the mall, and Oprah's on the other line."

The Universe

Mike Dooley

http://www.tut.com/ 



Give Light

"Give light and people find their way."

Ella Baker

Today I struggled in darkness and when a friend extended light, I was able to find my way.  Light leads to a destination which can be in a physical, emotional or spiritual darkness.  Light also can attract like a beacon for safety on a darkened street or the darkest hour.  Whether or not light takes the form of a light bulb or an energetic vibration, a flicker of light can be an unmeasurable gesture of kindness. 

I am thankful for all of the light givers in my life and grateful to be able to move the light along.  Let's all be mindful to share our light with those in need of love, courage, and opportunity.

Define Your 'Self'

LOOSE MARBLES Street Band
New Orleans, Louisiana


"Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one's definition of your life;
DEFINE YOUR SELF."

Harvey Fierstein

Consent to Creep

  "One can never consent to creep

when one feels an impulse

to soar."

Helen Keller

The impulse to soar is stifled when someone stands on your feet while telling you to fly.  It is impossible to flap wings when a net of negative words entrap you.  With the consent to creep, tears leave a trail to the cage only to be dried by the sun.

Head hangs down towards the ground tired of watching feet shuffle in the dust that never seems to settle.  Ears gently close to create a sense of silence where desperation can hide.  Hands randomly extend in hopes of grasping magic that will catapult you into the sky.

A gentle breeze lazily slides across the face willing eyes to look up and behold the spaciousness of the sky.  Like the attraction of a moth drawn to the light, a compulsion burns to ascend to the majesty of the celestial realm.  Freedom to rise above all that encumbers, to gently glide higher and float suspended never reaches heavenly spheres as desire repeatedly falls from the sky. 

Plan the Day

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day."

E. B. White

Space to Grow

"We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity.  We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openess, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion."

Max de Pree

The Earth Delights

"And forget not that the earth delights
to feel your bare feet
and the
winds long to play with your hair."

Kahlil Gibran

The Right To Be An Individual

In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt:  "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."

Window of Escape

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you."

Maya Angelou



Every woman carries an untold story.  It can be a generational tale, a family of  origin secret or a personal incident.  The information becomes more complicated over the years by impacting life on different levels.  Perhaps it restricts relationships with trust issues or fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) limiting various opportunities.  Other emotions mix in with shame and guilt crippling free spirit.   The chronicle can be like a sliver embedded in the skin...if it is removed promptly, there is no harm.  If the sliver is left unattended, matter will gather and infection settles in.

The untold narrative creates a barrier disallowing freedom of speech and creating a silence.  Without full disclosure the repressed tale becomes more difficult to reveal.  Certain aspects of the 'self' are kept under lock and key with bars covering any window of escape. 

As time passes, the hidden story surfaces unexpectedly.  It reappears in a nightmare or is reflected in the telling of someone else's revealed truth.  A convincing lie dances within the ego..."You are a stronger woman by keeping this story to yourself!" Actually, the opposite is true.  It takes more courage to tell one's story and it is followed by liberation creating better mental, physical, and spiritual health.

There are many ways for a woman to tell her story.  She can write it in a journal or in a letter that can be burned afterwards.  A dear friend or a counselor would be honored to listen.  The woman with a secret fears judgment and isolation, but by articulating her silence, she will find compassion and acceptance. 

It is through exploring inner landscapes that the soul becomes lighter.  Gather light and journey into personal darkness with the intention to rid all that no longer applies.  Perhaps this process of 'going within' can be likened to digging into a backpack and discarding old candy wrappers, wadded up papers, books no longer necessary, and pens that have run out of ink.  The backpack becomes remarkably lighter allowing easier passage.

Women have been telling myths and legends since ancient times.  Whether gathered around fires or etching symbols into stone, personal histories have been passed down both enlightening and entertaining all women ... grandmothers, mothers, daughters and sisters alike.  The female narrative is imperative to us all.

Remove the bars from your window and escape to a freedom that you deserve.  Record the story within you whether it is a comedy, adventure, drama or folklore.  A memoir can offer apology, anger, sorrow or forgiveness without exacting grammar or punctuation.  By allowing others to witness your story, truth will be honored and your authentic spirit will be set free.

Tea

"Women are like tea bags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Hope ...

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all."

Emily Dickinson

Friend of Silence

                                            

"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is the friend of silence.  See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence;  see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence ... We need silence to be able to touch souls."  Mother Teresa



Whispers of Truth

 

"It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts."  K.T. Jong

Never Bend Your Head ...

"Never bend your head. 
 Always hold it high. 
 Look the world straight in the eye!"
 
  Helen Keller



       World Famous San Diego Zoo

Day Dreaming a Grandmother

The eyes of this unknown woman reach out to me.  I love her upon sight and wonder about the history encripted in every detail of her face.  I imagine her to be my long lost grandmother, holding secrets of my ancestors that are just waiting to be released.

I trace her wrinkles lined across her sweet face and fall deeply into her blue eyes. The crinkles around her mouth break into a warming smile as she lovingly wipes the tears from my face laughing softly into my eyes.

I adjust her scarf and straighten her cap, while she gifts me with her 'babushka' that once had been rolled and crumpled around her neck.  I hold this gift close to my heart, smelling the light fragrance from her daily use and years of wear that only a grandmother could have.

She invites me to her little room and I follow her slowly up the incline of the well worn wooden stairs.  The heavy door unlocks with the turn of the key as my imaginary grandma opens both her heart and home to me.  She serves me tea in a petite china cup with little cookies taken from an old cookie jar.  Books are neatly lined on the shelf of a cupboard leaning against an uneven wall.  A little day bed stands in the shadowed corner covered with a handmade quilt almost threadbare.  She takes an old wooden box from a drawer and places it in my lap.  Upon opening the box, I find brown antique photos revealing her life from an ancient past.

I hold her hand smoothing the creases of her apron while I sit at her feet listening to stories of loss, love, and gain.  I try to memorize all of the wisdom imparted from her lips, and find myself telling her I never want to leave. 

As in all day dreams, my eyes eventually focus and the imaginary room fades away.  My heart aches for this woman I have never met and for the dream that never was meant to be.  My imagined exchange with her lingers still as I wonder where she might be or who she really may have been.

A Woman's Passage

"At last a woman cradles in her arms the woundedness of being herself.  No longer casting it out as the impediment that prevents her growth, she can embrace her woundedness as the essence, the soul of her uniqueness ... that which has enabled her to become herself."

I SIT LISTENING TO THE WIND

by Judith Duerk

Like a Queen

"Think like a queen.  A queen is not afraid to fail.
  Failure is another steppingstone to greatness!"

  Oprah Winfrey

You feel it don't you?

"There is a candle in your heart,
  waiting to be kindled.

  There is a void in your soul,
  ready to be filled.

      You feel it don't you?"

                                            Rumi

Meeting in the Middle

When I was in elementary school, my best friend lived eight city blocks away.  Whenever we spent time together, we walked exactly four blocks a piece;  however,  the significance of meeting in the middle was never really about the exact location as much as it was about the emotional connection.

In time, I learned that meeting in the middle seldom meant half way.  It was simply a reference point that could be shifted most anywhere and agreed upon even if it were lopsided favoring one and not so much the other.  'Meeting in the Middle' grew into a loving term, like being in the middle with your family surrounding you or being in the middle of your life with adventure awaiting. 

When my daughter was in college, we frequently found ourselves meeting in the middle, dividing a few hours in half to enjoy lunch or time talking together.  After college graduation, meeting in the middle meant spending a night and sharing a motel room as the distance grew farther.  While working on her doctorate, meeting in the middle was impossible, but still very important to us.  She would laugh and ask, "Are we meeting in the middle?"  She knew I would drive all of the way.

The concept of meeting in the middle continues to evolve. College roommates, retired professionals, friends who have moved away, still meet me in the middle, except it is no longer a travel destination, but a mailbox on line. 

Meeting in the middle increases in meaning for me.  It refers to sitting in silence and going within to listen for guidance, to discover wisdom and to find my true self ... meeting in the middle!

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man.  It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.  It is the middle ground between flight and shadow, between science and superstition."  Rod Sterling

Focus ...

"It is during our darkest moments
that we must focus to see the light."

       Aristotle Onassis

Out of focus, everything is out of focus!  Adjusting back into routine has gone awry. 
I sit with pen in hand, but only doodles find a path to the page.   I walk every day desiring to reconnect with nature, but I see only dead leaves, mud, and a darkened sky. 

A few tulips and jonquils inch their way up through rocks near the front yard.  Their determination and willingness to make themselves present reflects the magic of creation while the snowflakes float in the cold air.  Still nothing stokes my inner fire and the coals of my passion lay frigid against the bottom of heart's door.

The landscape of my imagination has fallen into the shadows beneath the midwestern sky.  Colorful words no longer burst into my brain, eagerly seeking expression.  It is difficult to link thoughts and phrases worthy of discussion.

"Let's end this day," say I, "and sink into the land of dreams where I can fly, colors dance and rocks sing out of tune!"  In this imaginary sleepy space of mine, I can relax and be true.  When I awaken in the morn, perhaps I'll see life anew.

Upon Returning Home

"Such a long time to be gone.
Such a short time to be there."

Grateful Dead

Lingers ...

  "Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers."

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Perception.

"It is not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."

Henry David Thoreau

Deciding "No" or "Yes"

"A 'no' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."

Mohandas Gandhi